Dubai

A Letter From Jamie Elfman (Barista At Tom&Serg)

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Back in January I wrote a piece about the sadness I feel at not being able to get good coffee in Dubai. I was stirred to write about the disappointment I experienced when the new kid on the block Tom&Serg failed to light my fire with their offerings. The barista took it badly. Here’s what he had to say.

Hello, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Jamie and I am the barista you so eloquently discuss in your review of Tom&Serg. When I first read this I was somewhere between amused and annoyed by your 6 strikes and out approach. However, over the last few weeks I have forgotten about the amused part, and only the pissed off remains.

Firstly, I am sorry if you received bad service at T&S. If events happened as you described, it is inexcusable. Having said that, I am going to call bullshit. All of our staff are friendly and helpful to the point of annoying me at the bar with requests of “Can they please have half water, half dry foam, 3 grains of sugar and a foot rub on the side?” And a first strike because you didn’t like the interior? Really? You had a bad experience, and didn’t like the place? Easy, don’t eat or drink there. I don’t like a lot of places due to the strange fact that I also have preferences. So I don’t go.

I am happy for you that you were once Honorary Tower Barista. Well done on that. It hardly qualifies you as an expert though. ”Years and years of drinking amazing coffees in cafés in Melbourne as well as being the honorary tower barista when I worked at Melbourne airport have taught me that temperature is paramount. A lot of experimentation and a great deal of love have gone into my research. I don’t mind a coffee at 65ºC, but I most definitely prefer it a bit hotter.” Years of research to figure out how you prefer it? Ok…

Here’s the thing though. You are wrong. Milk textured to 70 degrees with three layers is poorly textured milk. Fact. You have been away from Melbourne for the last five years? Well, the coffee scene in Melbourne has changed dramatically over those last five years, and if you were to return, you would unfortunately find that every decent shop there does it exactly the same way I do. Techniques have improved, and no one would be caught dead trying for “stiff peaks” in their milk. Sure, there are a few hold outs still doing things the same way they have for 25 years, but the times they are a changing.

Tom&Serg is of this new breed of Specialty Cafe. We don’t burn milk. We don’t make dry cappuccinos. We don’t add syrups. Coffee changes as it degasses, and behaves differently as it ages, or the humidity or ambient air temp changes. The only coffee that is the same all the time is stale coffee. We use freshly roasted coffee, which will be different every time you have it. Like it or leave it.

All of this is irrelevant. You are more than entitled to an opinion. Just don’t pretend to be an expert. I have been making coffee for nearly sixteen years. that’s approached 1,000,000 coffees. I have worked in everything from the shitty places you seem to prefer, to shops ranking amongst the best in the world. I am an expert. The very fact that you couldn’t differentiate between a latte, served in a six ounce cup, and a cappuccino in a seven speaks volumes about your expertise.

Anyway, thank you for trying my coffee, and it’s a shame it doesn’t meet your standards. Perhaps one day you will get that cafe you dream of, serving stale, dry, yet consistent, coffee to the masses.

When I didn’t respond to him right away he motivated me to get on with it!!

I see you didn’t post my reply to your expert review. I didn’t think you would. Anyway, good luck, and just remember your advice to A.A. Gill. Stick to what you do best.

Ejo #50 – Things I Hate About Dubai #3 – THE COFFEE

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Dubai is the king of chains! King of brands. Restaurants, clothing stores, hotels. And of course, coffeehouses. Starbucks, Costa, Cosi, Caribou, Second Cup, Gloria Jean’s, Segafredo, Tim Horton’s and more abound. Blah blah blah. The city appears to have a deep and abiding aversion to anything small and unique – preferring instead to fortify itself with (supposedly proven) café after cookie-cutter café, oozing lack of personality and same-sameness.

Now, I know it might sound a bit snobby to turn my nose up at these coffee brands. In fact, I don’t care how it sounds. Am I a coffee snob? Yep! I’m Melburnian. If you don’t know what the connection is, you might as well stop reading here. Where I come from, coffee isn’t just a shot of caffeine but an actual artform. And if you think I’m talking about cute little pictures of elephants or butterflies in your foam, again please stop reading here. What I’m talking about is the barista, a person properly trained in the craft of making coffee, actually taking pride in every single cup they produce. In my opinion, if you serve me the best cup of coffee I’ve ever had in my life one day and then a crappy cup the next, you make bad coffee. Simple as that. Quality is not just about perfection, it is about consistency. And I feel that the reason coffee in Dubai is so dreadful is that people aren’t being trained to make it. But that’s a whole other ejo.

In over five years, only two places have come close to fulfilling my need for a great milky coffee. One was Brunetti’s – yep, the Melbourne joint. They didn’t make awesome coffee, but it was generally consistent. And in a city where that’s rare, it counted. Alas, Brunetti’s has recently closed. The other place that served really good coffee for a little while was a café called Raw that imports and roasts their own beans. Unfortunately, the operative word in the previous sentence is “served”. Their consistency was a joke. And so I stopped going.

Something that really bugs me about coffee in Dubai is that regardless of whether you order a latte, cappuccino or flat white, you get the same damn coffee (albeit in a different sized or coloured cup to differentiate between the styles). This infuriates me. The nuances of the different types of milky coffee are numerous, but unfortunately the guy behind the machine at Costa hasn’t been taught that. He hasn’t been shown that when you froth milk the correct way you end up with three layers in the milk jug. The hot milk at the bottom, the micro-foam (which for me defines a latte) in the middle, and the stiff peaky froth at the top (the stuff that should get spooned onto the top third of a cappuccino). Invariably the contents of the jug simply get poured into a cup and served to you as whatever it was that you ordered. And it seems that the majority of coffee punters in Dubai don’t know the difference between a latte and a cappuccino either, because they keep paying for coffee, milk and a thin, mealy layer of foam on top. And paying top dollar for it. An average cappuccino in Dubai costs between 17-24dhs, approximately five to eight Aussie dollars. That’s bad enough, but when you have to pay that for a crap cup of coffee, it’s enough to make your blood boil.

So, as you can see, my experiences with coffee here haven’t been the best. Which is why when I saw a magazine cover a couple of months ago with a picture of a bearded man wearing a butcher’s apron and the words, “This man knows good coffee,” my heart leapt a little bit. Oh joy! I flicked through to the article and was quite excited to read about a great new café that was soon to be opening in the Al Quoz neighbourhood of Dubai. For those of you who don’t live here, Al Quoz is a rather industrial area of town, mostly known for car dealerships, factories and (of late) art galleries. In fact, it’s the perfect place for a start-up. My excitement levels were cautiously rising. Could it be that after five years of crappy caffeine, at last someone who “knows good coffee” would be making his way into the city (and straight into my heart)??

When I went home I hopped online and did as much research as I could about this upcoming café (this might show how sadly scarce good coffee is in my everyday life). It all looked very promising. Interviews with (Aussie) Tom Arnel and (Spaniard) Sergio Lopez, gave assurance that they were here to provide a quality product, expressing a desire to work against Dubai’s proclivity towards “mass-produced” and “franchised”. Music to my ears.

A week or so after they opened, I dragged David along to sample a cup of their joe. Sadly, my first impression of the place was that, despite the promises to be “different” it was a very typical Dubai restaurant opening. A huge, cavernous space outfitted with industrial design. If Tom and Sergio were going for the antithesis of the Dubai café, if they were going for an antidote to the “Dubai-ness” which they stated they were overwhelmingly “frustrated with”, at least where the interior is concerned, they failed miserably. The inside of Tom&Serg is, for me, the definition of Dubai. Strike one.

We ordered two cappuccinos and sat down at a bench by the window. While we waited we read their policy on serving coffee at <65ºC. I admire the intention. Burned milk is one of my absolute worst pet peeves when ordering coffee and I have been known to return to a café and insist they make me another cup at a lower temperature. Now, I’ve already said I’m a coffee snob and I’ll reinforce that here with the suggestion that the best coffee is actually served at a temperature closer to 70ºC. It’s hot, but not hot enough that the milk has burned, and not so hot that you’ll burn your tongue. You can drink it without waiting, but if you do wait a few moments you won’t be drinking tepid coffee (blech). Years and years of drinking amazing coffees in cafés in Melbourne as well as being the honorary tower barista when I worked at Melbourne airport have taught me that temperature is paramount. A lot of experimentation and a great deal of love have gone into my research. I don’t mind a coffee at 65ºC, but I most definitely prefer it a bit hotter.

Anyway, back to Tom&Serg. One cup was brought over and served to us, which we thought was a bit strange. I told the server that we had ordered two cups and he shrugged. And then, check this, he left. I was a little bemused, thinking the second cup must be on the way. Alas, this was not to be. There was no second cup. Strike two. And I can’t begin to tell you how much this pissed me off. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that everyone makes mistakes. But when you go around aggrandising yourself as being the opposite of what is wrong with Dubai, then you’d better make sure that you are great, in all respects. And for the guy to just shrug his shoulders and not even bother ordering us a second cup really got on my nerves. It typifies what inspired this “Things I Hate About Dubai” series in the first place. Our first experience with Tom&Serg was a bust. We walked out disappointed.

Being fair-minded people, we decided we’d give them another chance about a week later. We walked in and decided to order one latte and one cappuccino, so that we could compare the two. I declined the offer of chocolate on my cappuccino. That’s another of my pet peeves (yes, I do have a lot). Cappuccino is not a mocha. There should be no chocolate anywhere NEAR it. I don’t care if it’s Valrhona or chocolate that’s been grated between the legs of virgins (I’m sure such a thing exists somewhere in the world – just not on my cappuccino please). Anyway, I was saddened (but in no way surprised) when my cappuccino came out liberally sprinkled with offending chocolate. Strike three. I gently reminded my server that I had requested no chocolate and I swear to god, she looked like she was about to shrug and walk away. I think it was the wild, wide-eyed look which started to flower across my face that stopped her in her tracks and she hesitantly asked me if I wanted another coffee. I nodded slowly, my shackles smoothing down. Strike four (the strikes were coming thick and fast now).

So, while we waited, David and I shared his latte and when my cappuccino arrived, we shared that. I would be hard pressed to tell you the difference between the two cups. They were both milky coffee with a thin, mealy layer of foam on top. Ugh!!!!!! Strike five. When we’d finished the server came back and asked me how I liked the coffee. I shrugged (oh yes, the grasshopper becomes the master) and said I didn’t really like it that much. She knowingly nodded and said, “Ah, you thought it wasn’t warm enough” as though I was an idiot. Hackles well and truly raised, I didn’t bother to tell her that it just wasn’t a very good coffee. Strike six and we were out the door never to return.

It’s a shame that Tom&Serg didn’t live up to my (increasingly desperate) expectations of a great coffee joint. I have a feeling they’ll be fine though. Last time we were in Al Quoz we walked past and the place was jam-packed, full of hipster guys and gals sucking down their lukewarm coffees. Sure Tom&Serg will be fine. But what about me???

Ejo #48 – Dubai Expo 2020: Let’s All Celebrate Together

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Two nights ago I was sitting on the toilet when I heard an explosion! (Ahem… from outside, thank you very much!)

 

“What the hell’s that?” I shouted out to David.

 

“Fireworks!” he shouted back.

 

Fireworks spewing from the Burj Khalifa. Pretty!

Fireworks spewing from the Burj Khalifa. Pretty!

 

I hurriedly finished my business and rushed out to see the Burj Khalifa aflame with pyrotechnics. “Oh,” I said. “I guess this means we won.”

 

Two years ago, the city of Dubai made their bid to host the 2020 World Expo, a global fair lasting up to six months, where countries from all over the world showcase themselves in national pavilions. Two nights ago, it was announced that they were successful.

 

Yesterday, work was abuzz with the news, and I was keen to find out people’s thoughts on the announcement.

 

Gotta love the enthusiasm! My colleague Pauline dressing in the national colours!

Gotta love the enthusiasm! My colleague Pauline dressing in the national colours!

 

The overwhelming response was positive, coupled as it was with the upcoming National Day celebrations. When probed about why they were happy that Dubai had won the right to host Expo 2020, here’s what a few of them had to say.

 

“It’ll show Dubai as a true international city and how diverse it is. It’ll open the city up for other international events, like the Olympics.”

 

“Al Maktoum International airport will expand. Increased development will lead to more job opportunities opening up. It will lead to a good life.”

 

“There will be more development, more jobs. It’ll be good for the city.”

 

“People will have the chance to learn more about Arabic culture and tradition.”

 

It sounds good. There certainly will be a great deal of development, with an estimated $8.4 billion dollars to be injected into infrastructure such as new roads, hotels, Metro expansion and the 438 hectare site of the Expo itself. It is expected to create close to 80,000 new jobs – mostly in travel and tourism sectors.

 

An artist's impression of the impressive Expo 2020 site.

An artist’s impression of the impressive Expo 2020 site.

 

Interestingly, of all the people I asked, only one had ever been to an Expo before. Originally from New Zealand, Kim T. attended the 1988 World Expo in Brisbane (which I vaguely remember, as a high school student, coinciding with Australia’s Bicentennial celebration). She said she’d absolutely loved it, and when I asked her to elaborate, here’s what she said:

 

“It was spectacular, with exhibits from around the world, commemorative events throughout the city – not just at the Expo site – marking it as a very proud and special time for all of Australia. We only had two days in Brisbane but could easily have spent more than a week to experience all that there was. I expect that Dubai will spend the next six years promoting and trumpeting this event and I’m sure the occasion will be even more special with the resources the government has committed to it, ensuring another spectacular showcase.”

 

Expo 2020

Expo 2020

 

I have no doubt that Expo 2020 will be an incredible extravaganza. Even a card-carrying Dubai-basher like me can admit to feeling a little bit of pride and admiration. But (as always) wanting to keep things in perspective I wondered if it was all good, or if there might be a downside to the Expo being held in Dubai. I certainly had a few concerns, and wondered if others did too. So I asked people to tell me how they thought it might negatively impact the city and its residents. The consensus?

 

“Everything will become very expensive.”

 

“People are afraid of what it’s going to do with property prices in the next few years.”

 

“Rent will go up.”

 

“Everything is going to get crazy expensive. The cost of living will explode, affecting everyone. Rent, fuel, food, everything.”

 

So, the prevailing view is that Expo 2020 will drive prices up making it even more expensive to live in Dubai than it already is. Kim T., who has lived here for seventeen years, expounded:

 

“On the down side, six years is a long time for residents, particularly expats who must grapple with the very real possibility that rents will increase, as Dubai has a legacy of greedy landlords who overcharge and under-deliver. The country will risk losing people that have helped to build this city up to a position where they could confidently bid for such an event.”

 

Indeed. Let’s talk about that for a second. Certainly the city has developed as a result of the expertise, skill and hard work of a great number of expats, without which it may very well still be a sandy outpost. I’d like to also bring a little bit of appreciative attention to the hundreds of thousands of people without whom, over the years, Dubai literally could never have been built. The workers and labourers. The men who constructed the skyscrapers and laid the roads and built the Metro. The men who, year after year, labour away endlessly in order to create the impressive, sparkling city which dazzled the Bureau International des Expositions, convincing them that, YES!, we are the best city to host Expo 2020. Can we please, in all the excitement, not forget about them??

 

Don’t worry, this ejo isn’t about the lack of minimum wage, or the dreadful living conditions the workers endure. This time I’m not going to rail about the injustice of the system – I’ve written about that plenty in the past, and if you want to find out more about that, please feel free to peruse previous posts. This time, I simply want to tip my hat to the men that laid the foundations of this great city. I want to applaud them for their priceless contribution towards our reaching for the sky. I wish to salute them for the greatness of their accomplishments. Simply, I just want to say “thanks”.

 

The morning after I started writing this ejo, I received an email from my lovely friend, Roshni. As some of you know, Roshni is a tireless advocate for the underprivileged workers here. She has organised food hand outs every single Friday for the last three years, and much, much more. Here’s her email:

 

“Congratulations! We have won Expo 2020.

 

But in the midst of our celebration, let us pause a moment to think about the men who built Dubai. No doubt the brain and foresight was someone else’s, but who has toiled through the hot summer days and the cold wintry months, far away from his family, so that Dubai can be noticed by the world?????

 

So with the intention of wanting to do something special for these men, I write this mail to you. I leave it to each individual, what they wish to give. Please make a little gift packet. It could contain anything from non-perishable food items, toiletries, shirts, trousers, linen, shoes, blankets, cardigans, wallets, watch, whatever you wish. The only request is to make sure that the clothes, shoes, etc. are new. Let’s not give them used stuff for once.

 

We can make it a Christmas/Expo 2020 gift combo. We go for our usual hand outs on Fridays and will carry your gift packs also to distribute. And if you wish to join us, you are most welcome! Let’s not celebrate alone. Let’s welcome our fellow men to join in. Let’s make them feel special too!”

 

The Burj Khalifa spotlit in the colours of the Dubai 2020 bid for the Expo.

The Burj Khalifa spotlit in the colours of the Dubai 2020 bid for the Expo.

 

So, for Xmas this year, I will be putting together gift bags for some of the labourers. If you would like to contribute some money towards this, that would be fantastic. Please let me know. And if you live in Dubai and don’t feel like taking part, that’s OK. How about you spend 2dhs and buy a labourer a fruit juice. Sure, rent might spike up over the next few years, but it’s still a cheap and meaningful way to show gratitude for the workers’ invaluable part in us winning Expo 2020. I can guarantee it’ll mean the world to him to know that someone’s noticed.